Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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