Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
