If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
