Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
