He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
