I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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