Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
