the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
as a side note pls kill me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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