If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
