9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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