Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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