dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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