so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
