she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
