You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
