Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
