Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
