Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
