whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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