i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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