He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
