Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
