Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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