My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
