Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
