the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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