So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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