so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
