Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
