The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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