I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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