I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
