They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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