I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize
