My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
