I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
