We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I smell stomach acid.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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