Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
