doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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