why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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