I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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