the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My life is pants optional.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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