i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
