I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
