One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
