Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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