Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
