Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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