where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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