He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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