She said her name was "party"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Randomize
