My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
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